|
[#1.01]
Luke: Junkie. Lorelai: Angel. You've got wings, baby. Lorelai: Wow, you look nice. Really nice. Luke: I had a meeting earlier at the bank. They like collars. You look nice, too. Lorelai: I had a flagellation to go to. [#1.02] Luke: Every morning for you is a coffee morning. Lorelai: This is a jumbo coffee morning. I need coffee in an IV. Luke: I can give you tea and a Balance bar. Lorelai: Please, please, please tell me you're kidding. Luke: I'm kidding. Luke: You wanna know what this stuff does to your central nervous system? Lorelai: Ooh, do you have a chart? 'Cause I love charts. Luke: Forget it, kill yourself. Lorelai: No lectures? Luke: My blood sugar's low. I'll eat an apple and get back to you [#1.05] Sookie: Is that meatloaf? Luke: Uh-huh. Sookie: You use ketchup? Luke: You gonna make fun of my mother too? Sookie: Sorry. You know, my real-fruit puffs would compliment that dish quite well. Luke: It's fine on its own, thank you. Luke: Ok, toss some on the plate. Sookie: Can I make a pretty design, maybe make some layers? Luke: Sookie! Sookie: Right. Tossing them on. Got it. [#1.06] Luke: She's not here yet. Lorelai: All right. You'll have to entertain me until she arrives. Ok, Burger Boy, dance. Luke: Will you marry me? Lorelai: What? Luke: Just looking for something to shut you up. Luke: Hey, wrong table. Rory: Since when is there a right table? Luke: Since the coffee cake I baked for you and the stupid balloons I blew up are at that table, over there. Rory: Oh, Luke, you old softie. Luke: I count to three, it's gone. [#1.07] Taylor: Every other store in town has fall decorations. Luke: Hoorah for the mob mentality. Taylor: We're talking a few streamers and a paper turkey. How's it gonna hurt to have a paper turkey? Luke: No turkey, no squash, no pumpkins. Nothing colored orange. Luke: No tip? Lorelai: Oh, yeah, here's a tip -- serve your customers. Luke: Here's another -- don't sit on any cold benches. Luke: Aw, come on. Are you mad at me too? I mean, a man can't choose whether or not he wants a picture of a fat, stupid bird on his wall? My God, that's the reason the damn Pilgrims came here in the first place. Lorelai: Luke, I wasn't snubbing you. I didn't hear you and now I'm concerned about you. Luke: Sorry, just feeling a little persecuted lately. Luke: You're not going to kill the bag boy. Lorelai: Why not? Luke: It's double coupon day. You'll bring down the town. Lorelai: Want to hear something crazy? Luke: 'Cause all the talk up until now has been so normal. Luke: You're an amazing woman. Lorelai Thank you for noticing. [#1.08] Luke: Twelve guys stood in a row all night waiting for an enemy that never showed. They got stood up. They should've been wearing prom dresses. Luke: Have any of you ever considered the fact that you're glorifying a war we fought so we could keep land that we stole? Mayor: If you don't like it here in America, why don't you go stand in line for toilet paper in the USSR! Luke: There is no more USSR, Harry. Luke: Tradition is a trap, it allows people to stick their head in the sand. Everything in the past was so quaint, so charming. Times were simpler. Kids didn't have sex. Neighbors knew each other. It's a freaking fairy tale. Things sucked then, too. It just sucked without indoor plumbing. Lorelai: I think some traditions are nice. Birthdays. Holidays. Taking a walk in the first snow of the season. Luke: I didn't get the Hallmark card for that one. [#1.10] Luke: First time I looked at him, I thought he was trouble. Lorelai: Excuse me, I’m the one who told you I thought he was trouble and you told me you thought I was crazy. Luke: You are crazy and he is trouble. Lorelai: Don’t you have any kind of holiday special? Something festive? Luke: I just got some Grey Poupon. That’s French. Lorelai: You made me a Santa burger. Luke: It's no big deal. Lorelai: He has a hat and everything. Luke: Yeah, I just cut a piece of wonder bread, you know, poured a little ketchup, piped on a little cream cheese. Lorelai: No one has ever made me something quite this disgusting before. I thank you. Luke: Hey, this sign isn’t just a decoration. Lorelai: Honey, nothing in here is a decoration. Lorelai: I bet you’d buy a Barbie for your daughter. Luke: Yeah, well, I’d probably give her the cash to buy it herself and meet her by the baseball cards. Emily: You have an escort? Lorelai: No, it's Luke, Mom. Luke: Which is her way of saying we weren’t on a date. Lorelai: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Luke: Hey come on, you gotta think positive here - bright side, good thoughts. Rainbows, unicorns, clowns, little cute...furry - ok I’m out. Lorelai: Thank God. Lorelai: You don't look so good. Luke: Thanks. Lorelai: That’s not what I meant. You know you always look good. Luke: Yeah? Lorelai: I mean you always look healthy. Luke: Ok. Lorelai: But you don’t look so healthy now. Now you look... Luke: Unhealthy. Lorelai: Yes. Luke: Ok. Lorelai: Oh what? So I said you look good. We’re not in 5th grade. ‘You look good’, big deal. Stop staring at me. [patient passes by] Luke: Ah, geez. Lorelai: See that’s what you get for being cocky. Emily: So what exactly is going on between the two of you? Luke: Nothing. Really. We’re friends, that’s it. Emily: You’re idiots, the both of you. Lorelai: So, what's going on? Luke: Your mother called me an idiot. Lorelai: Wow, you must have sucked up good. Luke: [hugs Lorelai] Ok, see here’s where the guy is supposed to give the girl his handkerchief but I don’t have one...and plus I find the practice a little revolting so... Luke: Thanks for the hat. Lorelai: You’re welcome. Looks good on you. Luke: Good how? Lorelai: Just watch the procession. [#1.11] Luke: Do not let these two anywhere near a dog. They can barely feed themselves. Luke: Hamster's can't laugh. Lorelai: Oh this one laughed - trust me. Rory: So finally she got fed up. Luke: Of being laughed at by a hamster? Lorelai: Well, yeah. [#1.12] Lorelai: Hey, four menus, a coffee and an anvil please. Luke: What’s the anvil for? Lorelai: For Rune. Luke: What's a Rune? Lorelai: Please not that question again. Lorelai: I'm too tall. Luke: Get out. Lorelai: I'm serious. Luke: Doesn’t he understand how great that is? You can get all the stuff from the top shelf. Lorelai: Exactly. That is exactly what I bring to a relationship. Explain that to him will you. Lorelai: God that’s nice. Luke: Yep. Lorelai: The whole ‘first date, beginning of the relationship’ glow - everything is new and exciting. Luke: Every joke is hilarious. Lorelai: Every little touch is incredible [touching Luke’s arm] Luke: Mm-hm. Luke: Yeah, in fact you rushed out of here before I had a chance to - Lorelai: A chance to? Luke: Kick your ass in poker. Lorelai: [laughs] You wish. Luke: Burger? Lorelai: Two and fries. Luke: Maybe we could do it again sometime. Lorelai: Oh yeah, well, I-I would like that. [#1.13] Luke: Your mom asked me to put it there, ok? Rory: And you said yes? Luke: She’s not real good with ‘no’. Rory: No, she's not. Luke: For every second you laugh at me, that’s one second longer you’re waiting for coffee. Luke: That is not yours. Lorelai: No, I found it in the bags of stuff for the sale. Luke: Oh so you just find something and then you take it, is that it? Lorelai: No, I paid for it. Luke: Oh so that makes it alright. Lorelai: It makes it legal. What is the matter with you? Luke: Nothing. Nothing is the matter. Lorelai: Luke... Luke: Pour your own coffee. Lorelai: Find anything good? Luke: Oh yeah, I got some refrigerator magnets shaped like sushi for a nickel, so basically I scored. Luke: Hey, it’s not a big deal, I was having a bad day, that’s it. Now I got magnetic sushi and all is right with the world. Lorelai: Ok good. So here. It obviously means something to you. Luke: But you have to let things go eventually, right? Lorelai: Yeah, but sometimes you need a little something to remind you. I mean you wouldn’t want to forget everything would you? Luke: No, there was some stuff that I definitely would not want to forget. Lorelai: Well here, so you don’t forget. Luke: Thanks, can I pay you for it? Lorelai: In coffee, absolutely. Luke: Alright. I’m not pining you know - Lorelai: I know. Luke: Just remembering. Lorelai: Got it. Luke: Remembering is not pining. Lorelai: You're absolutely right. Luke: It’s just like a memento, like restaurant matches. Lorelai: I can see the resemblance. [#1.14] Lorelai: I want to know why you won't paint this place. Luke: Painting's a pain. I'd have to close the place for a day -- which I can't afford -- or paint it in the middle of the night -- which I don't want to do because I hate painting. Lorelai: Ok, how about this? I'll help you. I love to paint. Luke: You do? Lorelai: Yes, I do. Luke: You love it? Lorelai: I want to marry it. Luke: You have strange passions. Luke: Taylor, it's not for you. It's for me. Taylor: I can't wait to tell the rest of the committee. They're not going to believe this. Luke: I hate that he's pleased. Lorelai: Ah, you'll drop a gum wrapper on the street in front of his store later. Luke: Yeah, good idea. Luke: Yep. He really loved this place, you know. This store was his life. Mine too, I guess. I spent every minute I wasn't in school here. I spent a lot of minutes I was supposed to be in school in here too. Lorelai: How come you opened a diner? Why didn't you keep it a hardware store? Luke: I don't know. I didn't love the hardware business the way my dad did, and, you know, I knew how to cook, so I just thought a diner would be more...fun. Lorelai: [laughs] That's a hard word for you to say. Luke: Oh, jeez -- Lorelai: No, no, don't get up. Luke: But if I don't get up -- Lorelai: They'll go away. They'll go away, trust me. Shh. Lorelai: Don't step on her! Luke: She cut right in front of me. Lorelai: Ok, well she's being graded so let's not squash her. Luke: Well then tell her to watch where she's going. Luke: So she's s super intelligent chick with great physical and deductive skills? Lorelai: Yes. Luke: Oh, this is not a chick I want to find. Luke: What are you doing here? Dean: You first. Luke: I'm looking for a chick. Dean: Yeah, me too. Luke: You're not. Dean: Well, neither are you. [#1.15] Lorelai: The guy who impregnated me with Rory - yes. Luke: Oh, well, he did a good job. Lorelai: Impregnating me with Rory? Luke: Now this has taken a very weird turn. Lorelai: I’m a rat. We had a date and I stood you up. Luke: It wasn’t a date, it was just a paint. Lorelai: I’m a rat, I need cheese. Luke: Forget it. Lorelai: Hey, hey, let’s reschedule. Luke: You know, I really didn’t even want to do it in the first place. Lorelai: No, no come on, don’t change your mind. We could do it tonight or - or right now. Luke: Was it an emergency? Lorelai: Yes. You would not believe what happened. I slipped and I busted my - it wasn’t an emergency. It was just me being a rat. Luke: Something came up? Lorelai: Yeah. Luke: Something... someone. Lorelai: Luke. Luke: Am I right? Lorelai: I'm sorry. Luke: Yeah okay. Well, I'm late. Lorelai: Um, can I make one more suggestion? Luke: No. Lorelai: Curtains? Luke: No. Lorelai: Manly curtains. Luke: Oxymoron. Lorelai: What did you call me? [#1.16] Luke: If you say there's no reason for the mood, then there's no reason for the mood. You're simply nuts. Lorelai: Or bipolar. That's very big nowadays. Lorelai: I don't know what is wrong with me. This is a beautiful festival. People should be enjoying it. Luke: It's a crazy festival based on a nutty myth about two lunatics, who in all probability did not even exist. And even if they did, probably dropped dead of diphtheria before age 24. The town of Stars Hollow probably got its name from the local dance hall prostitute. Two rich drunk guys who made up the story to make it look good on a poster. Lorelai: You are full of hate and loathing, and I gotta tell you, I love it! Luke: Oh, it's so good to have somebody share this hate with. Lorelai: My pleasure. Rachel: Oh yeah, yeah, the firelight really changes people. Ya know, makes them seem happier, freer, all troubles of the world completely gone. Luke: I don't think that's the firelight. I think it's the Founders Day party punch they've been selling. Lorelai: Climbed out the window. Luke: Okay. Lorelai: That's it. You're not curious why? Luke: No. Lorelai: That's what I love about you. Luke: I was pondering. Lorelai: Well you ponder really slowly. Luke: If I did it fast it wouldn't be pondering. Pondering by nature is a slow connotation. [#1.17] Luke: Oh God, he’s got a nerve. I mean what does he think he’s gonna do better than Rory? Is he crazy? Jeez. Alright, well forget it ok. Good riddance, adios, bienvenidos, hasta la vista. Lorelai: Could we get off the small world ride and start cooking please? Dean: Are you serious? Luke: Do you see a smile on my face? Dean: No but what’s different about that? Luke: What’s that supposed to mean? Dean: It’s just that you’re not exactly known as the town crack up. Luke: So you’re a smart guy now huh? [#1.19] Luke: How about if I take this plate in the back, I take the eggs off the pancakes, I put the same eggs on the side and bring the plate back out. What happens then? Lorelai: Then I can eat my breakfast. Luke: It's the same food just a different configuration. Lorelai: I won't know that. Rachel: God, you've got amazing eyes. Doesn't she? Luke: Oh, yeah. Sure, I guess. . . I mean, they're, you know, placed good. . . . symmetrical. I'm gonna get some more coffee. Luke: Oh yeah, she is. She's great. She's just, you know, a lot different from you. Lorelai: 'Cause I'm not really great? Luke: No, you're great. Just in a different way. Lorelai: In a not really great way? Luke: That's not what I meant. The two of you are just completely different people. Both great, but I'm just a little surprised that, you know, you're different types of greatness are, you know, melding and you're comfortably great together. Lorelai: Is this bothering you? Luke: This conversation. Yes. Lorelai: Yeah. Wow, it really looks, um, different from back here, ya know? All this is yours, as far as the eye can see. Luke: Yes, it's quite an empire I've built for myself. I'm thinking of conquering the flower shop next door and expanding the freezer. Lorelai: Okay. So here it is, right in front of you. Just take it. Take the plunge. She could be ready. Just jump in and believe her. Unless, you know, there's some other reason you don't want to. Luke: Like what? Lorelai: Like I.. I don't know. Luke: There's no other reason. Lorelai: Okay, well, fine. Then there's no other reason. [#1.20] Luke: I don't know how to buy gifts, okay, I don't like to buy gifts. I don't like getting gifts. I mean, this whole give giving and getting process is completely insane. Lorelai: The rant begins! Luke: I mean suddenly, on a certain date, the level of my affection for a person isn't measured by the way that I treat them or what we share. Lorelai: No. Luke: I mean just because I didn't buy her furry slippers or a giant shoe tree, all of a sudden, I suck. Lorelai: Ladies and gentlemen, rant number two. Luke: They underpay employees and overprice merchandise, they contribute to urban sprawl, they encourage materialism, and the parking's a horror. You drive in, you pay a buck, and even if you're only there for five. Luke: Did no one at that mall notice that you were going through some sort of psychotic episode? Lorelai: Excuse me sir, do you know where Luke is? Luke: Very funny. Lorelai: Oh my God, Luke, is that you? Luke: I feel ridiculous. Luke: This is how you like your guys, all GQ'ed up huh? Lorelai: Its not GQ'ed up, its just a little less casual. Luke: And you don't like casual. Lorelai: I like casual fine. Luke: Just not on me. Lorelai: No, it just adds variety. Its not lets make a new Luke, its lets see another side of the old one. Lorelai: I warned him. I warned him when I first met him, if he hurt her . . Ah. Maybe I could key his car. Luke: Or better yet, you can key Taylor's car and tell him Dean did it. Lorelai: Yeah. That'd be good. Luke: You can key Taylor's car, tell him Dean did it and also tell him that Dean littered and walks his dog without a leash. Lorelai: He'll run him out of town. Luke: Good. [#1.21] Luke: It was. Is. I'm just. . I've just been living alone since forever. And I just got use to putting the milk someplace in the fridge and finding it in the exact same spot. You know what I mean? Lorelai: Oh, we don't even keep milk in the house. Luke: Well, then cookies. Lorelai: Cookies almost never make it out of the car. Luke: And what are you talking about, another girl. What other girl? (Rachel stares at him) Oh Rachel, no, you don't mean. . . She and I are just friends. I told you that a thousand times. Rachel: No. You told it to me once. And you could barely get it out then. Luke: Okay, this is crazy. You've got it wrong here. It's not... She and I are... uh... Rachel: I'm gonna go. I'll miss you (she hugs him goodbye) Stay in touch. Luke: Yeah, I 'm gonna get going. I just left my toolbox from when I was here earlier fixing things. I do a lot of little things around here for Lorelai. Lorelai: Yeah, you're very handy. So Luke, we'll talk later. Luke: Absolutely. We see each other most everyday. Max: Well sure, you've got the coffee. Luke: And she needs the coffee. So I'll see you tomorrow. Lorelai: Tomorrow. Luke: Same time as always. Max: I'd count on a little later. Luke: Doesn't matter what time it is. I'll always be around. |
|
TOP AFFILIATES
all||apply
NAVIGATION
       
DISCLAIMER
|
